In the future, when manned spacecraft and terraforming and big, roomy space stations are a reality, vampires’ existence becomes public knowledge. World leaders announce quarantine, ban all travel. Countries start frantically evacuating civilians to space, going completely isolationist. Vampires will find out about the shuttles, of course, but ( Read more... )

Jim Croce’s “Roller Derby Queen” features a better constructed, more believable romance than Twilight.

The narrator of “Roller Derby Queen” sees the eponymous woman on television one night at the bar. The woman in question does not know he exists.

Edward smells Bella and thinks she’s delicious. Bella becomes obsessed with Edward when he does not ( Read more... )

Spiteficlet: Bella ignores doctors’ orders after the Tyler’s Van Incident, takes off neck brace, falls asleep (w/ concussion), and never wakes up.

AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING!
( But wait! There's more! )

The Volturi suck as villains because they make no sense. There is no reason to hide-Stephenie Meyer has outright stated that no human power on earth-not flamethrowers nor missiles nor hydrogen bombs could possibly help in a fight against vampires. Nothing is stopping the Volturi from taking over the world except “good” vampires like the Cullens, ( Read more... )

Main character girl:
Doesn't have a name yet. She's a foundling baby taken in by nuns, though, so it should be something super nunny, like Scholastica or St.-John-of-the-Cross.
It will be set . . . somewhere in Europe . . .  some time between 1100 and 1500 (but no bubonic plague. That's a whole 'nother story right there).
So as part of Charity/Sts. ( Read more... )

What is it with everybody and their dag-blamed sympathetic vampires? Specifically, the tired old faux-Byronic vampire boyfriends infesting YA novels? Why do we have to take supernatural creatures who traded their humanity for power and immortality and give them back human wants and motivations? Can't they just rape prey on humans and have crazy ( Read more... )